Image by RobertCiavarro via Flickr
I am sorry if this offends anyone, but I need to laugh to lift my spirits. No better time to do so, and this did it for me. Hope you also get a lift.
US RECESSION
The recession has hit everybody really hard…
My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them
and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
And, finally….
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
The GOLDEN RULE 
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Thanks i love your article about Some humour on a very serious subject- surely needed. | The GOLDEN RULE
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Am offended. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, ‘humorous’ about what has happened, what is happening, and what is coming. What most people don’t understand is that humanity is controlled by the ‘carnal spirit’, and as the Holy Bible I have states, “…desperately corrupt…”. Many humans think that by their ‘works’, through the development of their sciences and technologies, they can create, or cause, an evolutionary change in human nature. At the very best, it would only be superficial! Many humans think that man’s obligations are limited to, and dependent alone, on man and ‘human relations’, which is what ‘Social Networking’ and the creation of the ‘Global Brain’ is really all about. Truth? Justice? There can be none of that in a world where the ‘carnal spirit’ is in control!
Sorry Lance, I suppose I was bound to upset somebody. You are the only one to comment adversely.
Well, it’s no big deal. What is, is.
Getting a laugh out of it, harms no-one and alters nothing.
The robber bankers and war-mongering psychopaths have drained the bank.
The politicians, also with their hands in the trough, have aided and abetted.
The citizens are suffering and that is certainly no laughing matter. I am not in any way making fun of that aspect.
I am seriously disgusted with the behaviour of the responsible hierachy, who deserve to be kicked out into the gutter.
Nevertheless, laughter is good for the health and spirit.
Perhaps being ‘sober’ in my thinking makes me not see the humor in all that is going on. Perhaps I see and hear things in a ‘different’ way, not the way most people do these days. Perhaps the ‘citizens’ are suffering because of the way THEY think. Perhaps a good number of ‘citizens’ are in bed with the politicians, with THEIR hands in the government trough, being paid to do a ‘service’ for them. Perhaps the behavior of the citizens is not so different from the behavior of the hierarchy. Perhaps all who support and run the present ‘government’ deserve to be kicked out into the gutter because of their overall way of thinking. Will it happen? Perhaps.