Humour – Girlie Wisdom


English: Humour

Image via Wikipedia

I don’t know about you, but I basically live one day at a time, dream a bit about the future, reminisce a bit about the past, sometimes dwell too long on past mistakes and disappointments, but am basically optimistic about the future.

This is not too logical, as I believe in the gloom and doom issues that I publish here to spread the truth as I see it. So whenever some kind friend sends an email that makes me laugh, maybe I over-react, but it makes me feel good

The compulsion to share such things is strong. I hope this makes you laugh too!

Girlie Wisdom!
1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills… she has 14 kids but she doesn’t really care.
2. One of life’s mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don’t know what you are doing, someone else does.
6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.
9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers.
10. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks 2 sizes!
11. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like…’You know sometimes I forget to eat!’ …..Now, I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
12. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then they marry him.
13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That’s my idea of a perfect day!

Best regards to all my ‘girlie’ friends and readers, and Merry Christmas to all.

[And to prove, or try to, that I am not sexist, #12 is my favourite!]

About Ken McMurtrie

Retired Electronics Engineer, most recently installing and maintaining medical X-Ray equipment. A mature age "student" of Life and Nature, an advocate of Truth, Justice and Humanity, promoting awareness of the injustices in the world.
This entry was posted in HEALTH, Humour, Justice and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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